As I sit in front of my computer, wondering what to write for today’s blog, I find myself reflecting on past encounters. One, in particular, feels timely—especially with May being Mental Health Awareness Month.
By nature, I have an approachable personality, so people often come to me with their struggles. Once they learn about my profession, some even try to get a little “free therapy” (LoL). Jokes aside, I genuinely appreciate when others feel safe enough to confide in me. And the experience I’m about to share was no exception—but it weighed on me more than I expected.
Society often focuses on abuse from a woman’s perspective, rarely acknowledging that men, too, can be trapped in abusive relationships—sometimes for years. I recall how an individual opened up to me some time ago about the silent suffering they’ve endured, and I couldn’t help but feel deep compassion for them.
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s talk about what abuse looks like in men, why they often don’t seek help, and how you can support them.
Recognizing Abuse in Men
Here are key signs that may indicate a man is experiencing abuse:
Behavioral Changes
- Fearfulness or anxiety around his partner
- Constantly checking in with his spouse or seeking approval
- Withdrawal from social activities and conversations about his relationship
- Declining self-esteem, even if he was once confident
- Signs of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts
Physical Signs
- Unexplained or recurring injuries
- Wearing clothing that conceals bruises or scars (e.g., long sleeves in warm weather)
- Neglecting personal hygiene or appearing unkempt
Emotional & Psychological Signs
- Frequent belittling or humiliation by his spouse, sometimes in public
- Doubting his own reality or decisions due to gaslighting
- Feeling trapped or fearing loss of access to children
- Receiving excessive, controlling calls or messages from his spouse
Work & Social Patterns
- Unexpected absences from work or social events
- Declining job performance due to stress or distraction
- Hesitation to discuss home life or quickly shifting the topic
Why Men Often Don’t Speak Out
Many men hesitate to seek help because of societal expectations that discourage vulnerability. Fear of being labeled weak or dismissed prevents them from acknowledging their suffering.
How You Can Help
- Pay attention to subtle signs.
- Offer support without judgment or making them feel “less.”
- Encourage professional help when appropriate.
Abuse can take many forms, and its impact on mental health is profound. Recognizing and supporting men in these situations is just as vital as advocating for women. Let’s bring awareness to all survivors of abuse—because healing begins when voices are heard.
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 if you or anyone you know needs help.
Reference:
Is a man you know a victim? Spotting the Signs
Shalom 🙏🏼
Iamsosasmama ❤️
OCHIENGfamily 