“I know you like the back of my hand.”
It’s meant to comfort, but often it confines. Spoken by close friends or relatives, this phrase implies deep understanding. Yet over time, I’ve realized it reflects a version of me frozen in their memory—not the me I’ve become.
People build mental snapshots, and once those pictures settle in, they rarely update them. Even when we evolve, those around us may cling to the old frame, unintentionally dismissing growth. It’s not malicious—it’s habitual. But it’s limiting.
Mark 6:4 says, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown.”
This isn’t just scripture—it’s a truth that echoes across generations. Jesus Himself was underestimated by those who knew Him as a boy. They couldn’t reconcile the child they remembered with the wisdom He now carried. That disconnect speaks to how hard it is for some to accept transformation, especially when it happens close to home.
I’ve lived this. I’ve shared insights, offered support, invested in the work of growth—and been overlooked. The same wisdom sought elsewhere was once mine to give, but because I didn’t fit their mental mold, they couldn’t receive it from me. Oddly enough, some return later with excitement over ideas I shared long ago, now validated by another voice.
That kind of invisibility hurts. It’s not just rejection—it’s erasure. And while I’ve learned to go where I am appreciated, there’s still grief in being misunderstood by those who should know better.
This dynamic plays out in families too. Parents who lock their children into earlier stages can unintentionally stunt their trust. When we fail to update our image of someone—especially our children—we risk disregarding their capacity for maturity and sound judgment. To honor someone is to see them fully, as they are now.
Growth deserves recognition. Familiarity should never be mistaken for understanding. And whether as friends, siblings, or parents, we can do better. We must learn to let go of the version we remember and make space for the version that’s here.
Shalom 🙏🏼
Iamsosasmama ❤️
OCHIENGfamily 