Tag: christianity

PARENTING STYLES

~ OchiengFamily ~ Leave a comment

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Most people know the definition of the word authoritative as being commanding, assertive or assured and it often has a negative connotation. However, the other definition means reliable, dependable, trustworthy and I would like to talk specifically about the authoritative parenting style.

In the late 60s, a psychologist called Diana Baumrind introduced the authoritative parenting style which is widely seen as the most effective style of parenting. An authoritative parent listens to their children, encourages their independence, makes them understand the consequences of their behavior and expects them to learn from their mistakes. They express warmth and nurturance, allow them to express their opinions, encourage them to discuss options, and they administer fair and consistent discipline.

In other words as a parent you have to be well balanced in how you treat your children. You do not want to punish them to the point that they can’t approach you when they need advice and neither can you back off to the point you become negligent and they run wild.

This is what I learned from a biblical point of view.

1 John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”

As an authoritative parent God hears us, He is attentive to our every need, regardless of how small they are. He pays attention to everything about us, and to every word that comes out of our mouth. Therefore, as his children we must be brave enough to ask Him for what we need.

John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

As children of God we are very special in His eyes. We have not only been called to Him but chosen by Him and He encourages us to be dependent on the Holy Spirit and not dependent on man. God’s expectation of us is to trust and believe in him. He expects that if we trust in him then we will be successful in every venture we undertake. The same way a parent extends forgiveness, God does the same, as long as you are truly repentant.

Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.“

God extends an invitation to us to come and express our opinion and discuss options with him. He wants us to draw near to him with everything that we’ve got and let him work in and through us. God is a loving and nurturing parent. He wants to express his love for us in lots of ways. He wants us to come and rest in his presence, basking in his unfailing love.

My mother died when I was too young to get to know her and because I had to go to school far away I didn’t live with my father for a very long period of time so was raised by my sister. My father was one of the kindest men I ever knew and even though I did not live in the traditional two parent home, God gave me comfort during difficult moments and courage in times I felt afraid.

Therfore, if you are one of those people who feel “left out” because you did not have a parent or guardian to raise you then give God a chance because He knows what is best for you.

Sosasmama

Reference

Review of authoritative parenting style was retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritative-parenting-2794956

THE PURSUIT OF GOD

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My daughter is the most precious person to me. She has witnessed my ups and downs more than anyone else and even though she is ten she has the maturity of an adult. Last summer I went to Colorado for a week to complete my residency and even though I spoke to my husband (then boy friend)) frequently, I longed to get a call from my daughter without being the one to always call and check up on her. Anyway, after a week I got back and went to pick her up from her friend’s house and on the ride back home I told her how I missed her and I was upset that she didn’t even acknowledge that she missed me and it hurt me. Here I was trying to guilt trip my own daughter. Shame! Shame! Instead of ignoring me or pretending like she had missed me to make it up, she sat up straight in her chair and said, “Mom I’m sorry I didn’t miss you as much as you wanted me to.” There was that maturity once more kicking in at the most unexpected time and I had to stay silent and ponder her words all the way home.

There will come a time when she will have to leave home and when that time comes I will be sad but confident that she can take care of herself.  But am I not just like my little girl in the presence of God? I am guilty of becoming too familiar with God that I do not seek him daily. I only do it when I feel ike it. I’m so comfortable with God that I do not pursue him anymore. We only approach God when we need him to do something for us because after all he is the great supplier of what we want!

Children will be children, it’s my responsibility as a parent to take care of my daughter but on that day, I feel God was communicating something very important to me about my relationship with him. I needed to search my heart and not become so complacent. Was I just reaching out to God for the blessings or seeking him to have a relationship with him. God delights in our presence in all that we do no matter how small it may seem. It doesn’t have to be so grand but simply acknowledging that “God. I know you love me. I know you want what is best for me. Guide me through this day.”

Psalm 14:2

“The Lord looks down from Heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.”

I pray that as you go about your week may God fill you with the desire to Pursue him and all that he is in Jesus name.

Sosasmama

THIS MEANS WAR!

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DENZEL MEME

I know I’m not the only one but there are times that the pastor’s message on Sunday cuts deeper and is more relatable than other times. I have learned that these are the times God is communicating something specific about my life and I need to value that message even more. To continue the theme from last night, as believers we are constantly at war and fighting unseen battles. Jesus certainly doesn’t mean that we should be nervous or on edge constantly, but that we should be aware and not ignorant of real spiritual threats that have serious consequences if we do not heed his advice.

1 Peter 5:8-9 RSV

“Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 RESISIT him, firm in your FAITH…

We are not prey but the predators. We are not the hunted but the hunter. We are mighty warriors, fully equipped with all that we need to take down the enemy who is constantly at war with us to steal our joy make us feel miserable, hate ourselves and question or doubt God’s promises for us.

I am constantly reminded that my fight is not against what I see but against the unseen.

So dear Lord, today as I am reminded about my fight, I thank you that the battle has already been won. I thank you for your grace that enables me to keep keeping on when I feel like giving up. I ask that your word will continue to be a constant reminder for me that anything happening in the present or future will not be surprise but part of your will.

I pray also for my friends who will read this today and that they too will come to find solace in your word, knowing that you are holding us all up. We have all been equipped for the battle before us. We thank you dear Lord that victory is ours in Jesus name.

Rachel aka Sosasmama.

Know your enemy

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The devil! There is none more charming and ruthless than you yet I choose not to believe your lies. Your smooth talking and coaxing will never convince me from staying true to the God I serve. When I realized it was my mind that you wanted I declared war on you to never give in to your ways. They say your greatest trick was convincing people that you are not real. That even if you existed, you were the stereotypical caricature with the red face, horns and pitchfork. You were reduced to a simple cartoon but I have grown deeper in the word to know your subtle tricks. No longer am I a victim of your perverse ways but I am now an heir to the throne of God. You may have come to plunder my spirit with your lies, deceipt and murderous ways but even in my lowest of lows my God has lifted me up from the depths of despair.

EPHESIANS 6:12 RSV

“For we are not contending/wrestling against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

I finally know my enemy and with Jesus by my side I will defeat Satan with every fiber of my being.

…Let me formally introduce myself!

~ OchiengFamily ~ 6 Comments

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Hi. My name is Rachel Ochieng. My husband, Steve has posted a few times on the blog but I think it’s time for me to take over!

No, but seriously. It’s been hectic and I just hope you have been encouraged by those words.

Since the fall of last year I’ve been working as a counselling intern at a nearby counselling center. My experience there over the last few months has been invaluable even though there were nights I came home with tons of paper work to complete but all in all it’s been great.

I consider it a privilege to have worked with some amazing people especially my clients who do their best to cope even under the most stressful and difficult times. There are times my heart would just go out to them and I wish I could give them a hug but policy dictates no touching so I have to do my best to stay composed and professional.

Before I understood what it meant to have depression and anxiety, I was the type of person to dismiss it and say, “Get over it!” I didn’t consider it as a “real problem” and that people just couldn’t handle a dose of real life. However, like most things in the world, you begin to see and experience the reasons why some people are driven into depression and I slowly began to empathize with their condition. If I think about it most of us, without realizing it are just one step away from losing their minds, but for the Grace of God. But I digress.

While some of my clients are just in need of medication to help with their depression, other take the bold step to find other means of coping and eventually overcoming their depression and one method I used with them was to help them find something to be grateful for in life. These clients, for the first time would see their lives from a positive perspective and find instances to encourage themselves and focus their energy on better things. There is power in finding something to be grateful for in life. It’s a chance to take your life back. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 17:22 that,

“A merry heart doeth good like medicine…”

I help my clients see that it is a process. It’s not something that will happen overnight but they are taking the right steps towards full recovery.

This is to encourage someone out there today to dare to be grateful for the little things. God bless you, and hope you have an awesome night.

Rachel aka Sosasmama.