PARENTING STYLES

April 24, 2018May 2, 2018 ~ OchiengFamily ~ Leave a comment

Most people know the definition of the word authoritative as being commanding, assertive or assured and it often has a negative connotation. However, the other definition means reliable, dependable, trustworthy and I would like to talk specifically about the authoritative parenting style.

In the late 60s, a psychologist called Diana Baumrind introduced the authoritative parenting style which is widely seen as the most effective style of parenting. An authoritative parent listens to their children, encourages their independence, makes them understand the consequences of their behavior and expects them to learn from their mistakes. They express warmth and nurturance, allow them to express their opinions, encourage them to discuss options, and they administer fair and consistent discipline.

In other words as a parent you have to be well balanced in how you treat your children. You do not want to punish them to the point that they can’t approach you when they need advice and neither can you back off to the point you become negligent and they run wild.

This is what I learned from a biblical point of view.

1 John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”

As an authoritative parent God hears us, He is attentive to our every need, regardless of how small they are. He pays attention to everything about us, and to every word that comes out of our mouth. Therefore, as his children we must be brave enough to ask Him for what we need.

John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

As children of God we are very special in His eyes. We have not only been called to Him but chosen by Him and He encourages us to be dependent on the Holy Spirit and not dependent on man. God’s expectation of us is to trust and believe in him. He expects that if we trust in him then we will be successful in every venture we undertake. The same way a parent extends forgiveness, God does the same, as long as you are truly repentant.

Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.“

God extends an invitation to us to come and express our opinion and discuss options with him. He wants us to draw near to him with everything that we’ve got and let him work in and through us. God is a loving and nurturing parent. He wants to express his love for us in lots of ways. He wants us to come and rest in his presence, basking in his unfailing love.

My mother died when I was too young to get to know her and because I had to go to school far away I didn’t live with my father for a very long period of time so was raised by my sister. My father was one of the kindest men I ever knew and even though I did not live in the traditional two parent home, God gave me comfort during difficult moments and courage in times I felt afraid.

Therfore, if you are one of those people who feel “left out” because you did not have a parent or guardian to raise you then give God a chance because He knows what is best for you.

Sosasmama

Reference

Review of authoritative parenting style was retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritative-parenting-2794956

LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER.

January 8, 2018January 9, 2018 ~ OchiengFamily ~ Leave a comment

Abraham went out of his way to protect his nephew Lot. When their workers didn’t get along he spoke with Lot directly to resolve the problem. When Lot was kidnapped, he was ready to sacrifice his life to save him. And when God was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham interceded for him so that the righteous could at least be saved in the city. These are three instances where Abraham stood up for his family.

A valuable lesson I want to teach my daughter is the importance of FAMILY. As her parents we will go above and beyond our duty to help her. She needs to be honest, respectful and responsible so that we can defend her if anything happens. If her character is consistent at home, we won’t have to worry about defending her in the world.

Who are some of the people you care about in your life? Are you willing to sacrifice anything for them? If not, have a conversation with God to search your heart and give you the wisdom to make peace with them.
Thank you for your support readers and have a restful good night. God bless you.

BE LIMITLESS

January 5, 2018January 6, 2018 ~ OchiengFamily ~ Leave a comment

Like most new bloggers I am still at that stage where all I have is a desire to write. Some days I’m inspired and some days I am not but I think that’s ok. I’ve already taken the first steps so I can’t quit now!

LUKE 1:37 RSV

“For with God, NOTHING will be impossible.”

There is a boldness and a simplicity to scripture sometimes that makes me ask more questions than being simply content with the answers. I say to myself, “Lord you don’t understand,” “Lord you see this is my situation right now, “Lord if I only had this.”

Instead of accepting it for what it is I start this great debate in my head then I realize all my words are pointless. I’m discouraging myself even before I accept God’s promise all because I want to be in control.

Gabriel told Mary that despite Elizabeth’s old age she will bear a son. Mary would also have a son despite being a virgin. (She had some explaining to do to Joseph). I love this exchange between the Angel and Mary because it shows me God chooses the most ORDINARY people to do EXTRAORDINARY things. My wife and I consider ourselves ordinary, but we also know that with the gifts that God has given us he has given us the responsibility to be able to do extraordinary things. We have a vision to be leaders, mentors, authors and we believe it will happen. What’s the point of having the love of Christ without sharing it with others?

God wants to use you exactly where you are. You don’t need anything fancy, you don’t need to feel like you are inadequate. NO. They’ll call you crazy but so be it because our God says “NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE. “

RESOLUTIONS

January 2, 2018April 18, 2018 ~ OchiengFamily ~ 2 Comments

Another new year and another opportunity to make countless promises to ourselves that we must be different and do something that will completely alter the course of our lives. As a family we are no different. My wife has vowed to go on a new diet and I have vowed to write more, hence this blog. There is nothing wrong with setting new challenges but I think the biggest desire for my family is that we want to be CONSISTENT. We want to go beyond the point of doing something because of how we feel but rather DISCIPLINING ourselves to do it because we will reap the rewards eventually.

One thing we have all agreed on is to actively study the word of God as a family. Our Pastor gave away free study bibles on New Year’s Eve to encourage the congregation to actively study the word of God and we gladly accepted that challenge. Since we got married we’ve prayed together every night but part of the reason we want to study more is also encourage our daughter to actively participate and become more familiar with the word. Every parent has the desire to instill good values on their children and we are no different.

So I would like to officially welcome you to our blog and feel free to share your hopes, desires and plans for the next year. The world needs a lot more positivity and we want to share our journey with you.

GENESIS 2:7 NKJV

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the BREATH OF LIFE; and man became a living being.